Let Me In
by Flawlessbian
Summary: Santana Lopez hates everything about her life. Hell, life hates her too. And she hates the people in it. That's until she's send to a boarding school and learns that maybe not all people are that bad. Especially not Brittany Pierce.
1. Chapter 1

"Let go of me! Let fucking go of me!"

Santana Lopez wasn't known for being a nice girl. Actually quite the opposite. Most people her age were terrified of her, girls _and _boys. Back when she was 14 she got in a fight with a teacher because he gave her an E in a geography test. She won the fight, but was kicked out of school. Since then she had lived in a home with people _'with the same problems.' _Or at least that was what the judge had said. Santana Lopez didn't have any problems. She was awesome, the other kids were just stupid misfits. Okay, maybe she was having a hard time with school, her family and just life in general. But why the fuck were people telling her what to and what not to do over and over again? _'You should take high school serious, Santana. Don't you want a happy future and a good career, Santana? Santana, you have to take responsibility for yourself.' _It made her sick. If she wanted to ditch school now and then – okay, maybe it was every day – and just sit in the park smoking cigarettes while looking at stupid little kids running around, it was her choice. Sometimes when she was really bored she would like to go to the mall and buy stuff. Without money. Okay, maybe she was kinda into the whole shoplifting thing, but it was her fucking choce, wasn't it? Well, it was shoplifting that had fucked her up this time. They had caught her steal a pair of pants – and they weren't even _that_ cool.

"Let me go or I will fucking kick your ass!"

She knew she wasn't able to kick this giant robot looking security guard's ass, but she'd rather rotten in Hell than give up without a fight.

"I will let you go when you start to relax!" The security guard's grip tightened on Santanas arms.

"Fuck you!" she screamed.

"Calm down! I just want you to come with me, you're just making this harder on yourself."

Santana let out an angry laugh.

"Oh yeah? Like _this _is the hardest thing I ever had to deal with in my life?"

Santana tried to wiggle herself free, but it was nothing but impossible since the guy was at least 300 pounds and looked like he could be three of Britney Spears' bodyguards.

"Ugh, fuck this…"

One hour later Santana sat in a small room at the police station. Those idiots wouldn't even let her smoke in here and of course she wasn't allowed to go outside. When she lit a cigarette anyway, the police officer who was watching her took it out of her hand, put it out and forced her to give him the rest she had left. This just wasn't her lucky day.

"Santana, your parents will be here in a few minutes." Santana looked up at an olderly police woman who had an awful coffee breath.

"They are not my parents" Santana murmured. "My parents don't give a crap about me, and I don't give a crap about my parents."

"Okay, well… Just... Wait here.." the woman said.

Like I have a choice, Santana thought to herself.

"Santana, this isn't working."

Mrs. Parker from the place Santana lived had picked her up. Santana didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. Or she actually had a lot of things in mind, but that would definitely get her in trouble.

"I know you're not a big fan of school," – _wauw, good guess _– "but you have to graduate. That's what they told you in court, to stay out of trouble and finish high school. And then you had to do _this._"

Santana searched through her pockets.

"Crap, that bitch never gave me my cigarettes back…"

"Are you listening to me? We can't let you stay here anymore. You promised you would get yourself together, but you didn't. "

Santana didn't really pay attention to Mrs. Parker –this was not the first time she had yelled at her. And it probably wouldn't be the last.

"…boarding school in Lima."

She heard the word 'bording school' and suddenly realized this was kinda serious.

"What?"

Mrs. Parker sighed.

"I said, you are going to a boarding school in Lima, Ohio."

"No! Fuck no! Boarding school? A place with geeks and stupid boarding school clothes? Nuh-uh. I'm not going anywhere." Santana could feel the rage boiling in her body.

"Well, you had a chance and you blew it. You know this would happen if you couldn't behave. As of next monday you are a student at Lima Heights Academy."

Santana couldn't believe this. They were going to send her to a boarding school. _Boarding school. _She absolutely hated school and now she had to live in one.

She left Mrs. Parker alone and ran to her room to look for another pack of cigarettes. She knew she had one somewhere and God knows she could use one right now. When she finally found it she ripped the pack open and furiously pulled one out. _Shit, shit, shit. _This could not be happening.

She had been screaming, kicking things, kicking _people _but none of it made any difference. It became Monday, and Santana sat in the back of a cab that would bring her to Lima Heights Academy, the school she was supposed to be at for the next 7 months. Maybe she could find a way to get out of there, maybe if she was nice to her teachers she could… Who was she kidding, Santana Lopez didn't do nice. Especially not to teachers. They just tried to ruin her life all the time. Maybe she could escape and run away. To Canada. Or Europe. Or.. Jeez, this was going to be difficult.

"We're here."

The cab driver had pulled down a long road with trees on both sides. It looked like a goddamn movie that would take place in the 40's. This place was out in the middle of no-fucking-where with no bars, no mall, and worst of all no place where she could get cigarettes and beers at 3am.

"Hi! Are you Santana? I'm Rachel Berry." A short girl with brown hair, big smile and crazy riddiculos outfit came closer. Santana stared at the girl, her worst fear confirmed – people here really were freaky geeks.

"I'm here to show you the school, and your room and… Oh, you're actually not allowed to smoke here…"

Santana had just lit a cigarette. She looked at the other girl, her eyes saying 'shut it, or I will end you' and the shorter girl just stared at the ground, suddenly not smiling that big.

"Uhm.." Rachel started. "You really shouldn't smoke here, someone might find out…"

"Shut up, dwarf." Santana said her first words that day. "What's the worst they can do? Kick me out? I'd be more than happy if they did so I can get out of this stupid place."

Santana took another drag on her cigarette and exhaled slowly. This Rachel girl was seriously annoying. 7 months with people like her would kill her. Well unless she killed someone first…

"T-this way," Rachel stuttered. "I'm just going to show you your room. You are welcome to find me later and I will show you the rest of the school."

"Yes, that's exactly how I want to spend the rest of this delightfull day, in the company of Bilbo Baggins giving me a grand tour of the Shire."

Rachel didn't say anything.

They walked in to what Santana thought must be the main building. It looked like a castle in England. Not that Santana had been in England ever, but she thought it might look like this. They continued down a hall with doors on both sides. Suddenly Rachel stopped in front of door that looked just like the others except this had a tiny number written in the top right corner. 9. Her room number.

"This is your room. You have two roommates, but they have class right now." Rachel said. "I'll just... leave you to unpack your stuff."

Santana glared at the other girl who walked away fast. With a sigh she opened the door. The room was bigger than the one she was used to, but she never had to share before. There were three beds, two of them was on her right side and the last one was on her left. Fortunatly the one on the left was the one not taken so Santana was able to easily ignore the other two girls she had to share a room with. Santana Lopez did not do nice _or _friendships.

Santana was leaning out of the window next to her bed smoking a cigarette when she heard some noise from outside the door. She threw the cigarette so it landed on the ground outside.

"…don't understand why he keeps texting me, I told him it was over."

"Yes, but the same thing happened last time Quinn, and then you got back to him. Again."

The door burst open and two girls walked in but stopped talking as soon as they saw Santana.

"Oh, hi!" the blonde one said. "You must be our new roommate? I'm Quinn and this is Tina." She looked at the other girl, who waved. Who waves when they introduce themself?

Santana eyed them for a moment and then turned around to stare out of the window. She wasn't going to stay here, so she wouldn't bother talking to her 'roommates.' The girls were quiet for a minute and then continued talking.

"So what was he texting you this time?" the girl named Tina said.

"Just how much he miss me and loves me. Then he asked me about school and stuff. He never did that while we were dating."

"Do you think he's really starting to change Quinn? Maybe Puck is turning in to a good guy now."

"I don't know. Maybe." Santana could hear the smile in Quinns voice. It made her role her eyes. _Young love. _Ugh.

"He's just so sweet! Look what he just texted me. 'Your eyes are prettier than all the stars in the Universe.'"

Santana couldn't listen to this crap anymore.

"Oh please. He's just trying to get in your pants."

When the girls didn't respond Santana turned around to look at them.

"It seems like the only reason he comes running back is because he's horny. Guys are just like that."

Quinn looked kinda angry while Tina just looked surprised.

"How do you know? Do you have a boyfriend?" Quinn asked.

Santana huffed.

"That's really none of your business. I'm not going to stay here, so don't bother try to get to know me."

She lit another cigarette and turned to smoke out of the window again.

"You can't smoke in here!" Tina yelled in horror.

"Sweet Jesus, why is everybody having a problem with cigarettes at this school?!" Santana could feel the rage coming to the surface yet once again.

"We're not, it's just against school law…" Tina murmured now.

Santana smirked. They were scared of her. Good.

"So…" she started. "Why are you not wearing those sexy school girls outfits? I thought this was a boarding school."

"I-it is, but we're not supposed to wear those. We get to wear our own clothes all day" Quinn replied hesitantly.

"Good, 'cuz I look amazing in my own clothes" Santana said. And she did. She had guys drooling over her all the time.

"But why do you care about that? I thought you weren't going to stay" Tina said without looking at Santana.

Santana gave her an evil glare. "I'm not."

She really wasn't planning on staying here but she had to figure something out. She couldn't just leave right away unless she wanted to have some damn lawyers fuck her life up even

more.

"I don't give a crap about this! It doesn't even make any sense!"

Santana was at her third math class at Lima Heights Academy. She hated everything about school but what she hated the most was math. Why did she have to learn about Pythagoras and other greek idiots that used to run around drawing number with sticks in the sand?

"Santana, you're not even trying." Her teacher sighed and looked like he was giving up.

"I am! It's not my fault this is fucking stupid."

"I think you could need someone to tutor you."

"What, and suffer even more with math than I already am? Hell no." She already hated the thought of spending time with a math geek.

"It would really improve your grades Santana, and you have to improve them if you want to graduate. Tina, would you like to help Santana with math? She needs to be tutored outside class."

"Uhm… I think… I don't think I have the time, you know, w-with the debate team a-and stuff…" Tina stuttered.

"I can do it." Some girl sitting behind Santana just offered to tutor her. Great. Santana didn't even bother to look at her. Her teacher was glad though.

"Great! I'll talk to both of you when class is over then."

When the bell rang Santana just took her stuff and ran out the door. She was _not _going to sit and talk with her teacher and her _tutor. _Just hell no.

"Wait! Wait! Santana!"

Santana didn't slow down. _She couldn't deal with this crap._

The girl from her math class ran and stood in front of her. She held out her hand for Santana to take. Santana didn't take it, but looked from the girls hand to her face.

"Hi," the girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes said. "My name is Brittany S. Pierce. I'm your new math tutor."

**A/N: Hi! I'm sorry if my English is… kinda weird, it's not my first language. (Beta anyone?) And I have a lot of ideas for this story, so please review if you think I should continue **


	2. Chapter 2

Santana was laying in her bed. It was late afternoon and she was supposed to be in her English class but she figured they probably wouldn't miss her. She certainly wouldn't miss them reading stupid old poems about _love _and _romance, _so she decided to just stay in her room and if they asked her why she wasn't going she would just tell them she was sick. Simple. She used to do that all the time when she was younger… actually, it only worked a couple of times until her parents figured out that she wasn't really sick. It would probably get her in trouble this time, but what the hell.

There was a knock on the door. Santana didn't answer. After a few minutes that Rachel girl poked her head in. Santana continued to look at the ceiling.

"Hi. Uhm… Miss Holliday asked me to see if you were here."

"Well, I guess your mission is accomplished then. Bye, dwarf." Santana said, still not looking at Rachel.

"Miss Holliday actually said that I should bring you to class if i found you…"

"Okay, listen," Santana finally sat up and looked at Rachel. "If you leave now I won't have to kick your ass back to 2008. So please, go back to your English class." Santana waved her off with her hand, and laid back down.

Rachel looked flustered. "But…"

"For Christ's sake, Baggins, leave!" Santana yelled.

Rachel's eyes got big for a moment but then she took off, shutting the door behind her. That girl was seriously beyond annoying.

30 minutes later there was another knock on the door. Santana thought all classes must be over for the day.

"Ugh, what do you want this time?!" Santana shouted, and stood to open the door so she could yell at Rachel.

"I told you to get the fuck out… Oh." It wasn't Rachel standing outside the door but the blonde haired girl from Santanas math class. Brittany.

"I'm sorry… Were you… I'm supposed to tutor you now, but…" Brittany didn't look scared but more surprised because of Santanas outburst. That was weird… People were usually just scared of her.

"You ran off yesterday before Mr. Fields could talk to us about the tutoring thing. But, uhm, he said that I should just start today after our last class. So here I am." Brittany smiled at Santana who just looked indifferent. Brittany wasn't nearly as annoying as Rachel, but Santanas was not happy about the idea of a tutor.

"Should we just stay here? Or we could go to the library? Wait, there will probably be a lot of people there right now. We could go to my room, but Rachel will probably be there skyping with Finn… Maybe we should just stay here, or we could…"

"Wow, Brittany, you're rambling, I actually don't know what the fuck you just said."

Brittany looked a little nervous, but then she smiled. "I'm sorry, I tend to get a little over exited."

Santana frowned. "And what exactly is exiting about tutoring _math?_"

"Oh, well, math is fun," Brittany started as she walked past Santana and into the room, "but I'm always exited when I get to make new friends!" She put the books she had with her down on a table and turned to give Santana a big smile.

Shit, this girl was just one big happy cloud of… happy.

"We don't have to do a lot of math today. We can just talk and stuff, get to know each other, you could tell me where you lived before you got here and I could tell you about how Lord Tubbington once saved a boy from a house on fire…" Brittany started rambling again.

"I don't do this." Santana said.

"Do what?" Brittany looked confused.

"This whole… talking about myself and making friends. It's just not my kind of thing."

"Then what is?"

"What is what?" Now Santana was confused.

"What is your thing?"

"Uh… I don't have a thing… I just like it when it's me, my earplugs and my cigarettes."

"Oh, so you like music? What do you like?"

"Well, earlier I was listening to The Used and… why are you looking at me like that?"

Brittany was trying to hide her smirk, but she wasn't really doing a good job.

"You just told me something about yourself. Maybe you're better at _this thing _than you thought you were."

Santana eyed Brittany. Even though telling Brittany who her favourite band was seemed like a small thing, it was actually more than she had told anyone before. Nobody ever really cared enough for her to ask about small things like that.

"I hadn't expected you to be a rock chick. Oh, and you really shouldn't be smoking." Brittany said and added the last thing in a more serious tone.

"So what did you expect?" Santana was annoyed, but also a little curious. This girl was… kinda interesting.

"I don't know, something more like… Coldplay or Amy Winehouse. Something like that."

"Yeah, well, I guess I like angry music. It fits me."

"Are you angry?"

Santana didn't want to talk about this, and especially not with a girl she just met like 5 seconds ago.

"So what kind of music do _you _like?" Santana actually didn't care about it, but she would definitely not talk about herself anymore.

Brittanys face lit up at the question. "Oh, I like a lot of things! Most pop though, like Britney Spears or Ke$ha."

"Mmh…" Santana had walked back to her bed, only half listening to what Brittany was saying.

"So, should we do some of your math homework now?" Brittany asked.

"Actually, Brittany, I don't need a tutor."

"But I thought you were having trouble with math and needed to improve your grades." Brittany frowned.

"I don't care about math, or grades. I'm planning on leaving this school as soon as I can. So please, don't let me waste your time any longer." Santana gave Brittany a sarcastic smile, the one she did so well.

The door opened again and Quinn walked in, followed by Tina.

"Santana, the principal came and asked for you in Miss Hollidays class today. He wanted to see you." Quinn told her. She looked at Brittany and then back to Santana with a curious frown.

"Why?" Santana thought it was weird that the principal wanted to see her. She hadn't done anything wrong except for not going to class. Maybe that was enough for them to make her leave. Okay, maybe not but Santana really had her hopes up about leaving this place.

"I don't know, he just told us to tell you."

"I'm just going to go…" Brittany took her books and turned to leave. As she walked through the door Tina looked at Santana.

"What?!" Santana was really irritated.

Tina hurried to look away. "Nothing, nothing, I'm sorry."

Santana let out a sigh, and left the two girls alone in the room.

…

"This is bullshit!"

"No, it's not Santana. You were caught stealing – and it was not the first time. And since you're underage this was the only possibility for you, unless you'd rather be in juvie. You need to stop mess up your life. This will be good for you."

When Santana had walked in to the principal's office she had found out that Mrs. Dawson, the social worker who had been controling her life since she was 14, was there to talk to her.

"So basically I'm forced to stay here to keep myself out of juvie? Ugh, this is horrible."

"Actually I think you're pretty damn lucky to get this chance."

Santana scowled. "Yeah, let's celebrate me being stuck here."

"You should celebrate you not being in juvie. It's only 7 months Santana, and if you're willing to just give it a try I believe you can do this."

Santana wasn't thrilled. At all. Now she had to stay here and listen to Quinn and Tina talk about their boyfriends all the time, and watch Rachel walk around in her ugly tights and just _yuk. _But the idea of being in juvie sucked even more.

"Ugh, fine! I'll stay here and I'll try to graduate. Are you happy now?" People telling her what to do was _not _something Santana was happy about.

"Not as happy as you should be." Mrs. Dawson said.

She really was trying to piss her off, Santana thought.

…

Santana slammed the door as she walked back in to her room. Tina was sitting by the table doing her homework, and she almost dropped her pencil at the loud _bang. _Quinn was laying in her bed.

"Oh my God, you scared me!" Tina said while she brought her hand to her heart.

Santana didn't respond.

"So, are you leaving?" Quinn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I'm stuck with you for the rest of the year. Lucky me." Santana answered, took her cigarettes and left the room again. On her way out she thought she heard Tina whisper _'crap.'_

Outside she lit a cigarette. And then another one. She had been walking for awhile in the small forrest next to the school. _She could do this. She had to do this Only 7 months, Santana. _7 months of extremely boring school and stupid homework though. But better than juvie.

"Hey!"

Santana turned around quickly and saw Brittany stand right behind her. She didn't think anyone would be out here.

"Jesus Christ Brittany, you can't just sneak up on people like that!" Santana exhaled.

Brittany's smile faltered. "Oh, I didn't mean to scare you…"

"You didn't, I just… I just thought I was alone."

"Do you want me to go?"

Usually Santana would have wanted her to go, but she actually didn't mind the company right now.

"No, it's fine," she said, and started walking again.

Brittany walked up next to her.

"I saw you went to the principal's office. I guess you're going home soon then."

"Nope. Staying." Santana took a last drag on her cigarette before she put it out.

"Really? That's awesome!" Brittany cheered.

"Why is that awesome?" Santana kinda disagreed on this.

"Because I wanted you to stay. I like you."

"Like me? Why? I'm not really a very likable person and you don't even know a thing about me."

"I know that you like music," Brittany smiled at Santana. "And that you're tapping your fingers against the table when you're bored in class. And when you're having trouble with math you murmur Spanish words to yourself. I don't know what they mean though. I think Spanish is very pretty, just like you, but I don't understand a word. I'm more into math. Or English, I like English. And I know that you get annoyed every time Rachel opens her mouth."

Santana stared at the other girl. Even though this was a very strange feeling to Santana, she thought she might like this girl too. At least she didn't _dislike _her.

"Well… I guess me staying means I need you to tutor me anyway."

**A/N: I know this is very short, but I just wanted to get something out there, because I won't be able to update before next week, and it's crap o'clock right now and yeah… I hope you like it :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Santana had been in Lima for about a month. She was bored as hell but she was really trying to get better at this whole school thing. Usually she just sat in the back row of all her classes and tried to stay awake, but that was more than she had ever done, right? She had had a few tutoring lessons with Brittany. Thank God Brittany was a very patient person…

"_You can't multiply fucking letters!"_

"_Well yes, you just need to do the same thing on both sides of…"_

"_No seriously, what the fuck? A times Z equals the alphabeth? I hate the idiot who invented this…"_

"_Santana…"_

"_No."_

And now they sat by the table in Santanas room again. Santana was in her usual grumpy mood, and Brittany was in her usual happy mood. Brittany was explaining the same thing to Santana for the third time that day.

"You just take the square root after you multiply…"

"Can we take a break? My head is going to explode."

"Yeah, of course."

Santana leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes and sighed deeply. Brittany looked curiously at her.

"Have you never done it? You know, the whole 'friends-thing'?"

Santana opened her eyes and looked up at Brittany. Even though they had known each other for a couple of weeks now Santana was still not talking a lot about herself. Or anything actually. If anyone else but Brittany had asked her, she would have slayed them with her words. Probably. But Brittany was actually okay. Santana was just not the type that opened up.

"Nope," said Santana. But it was a lie. She had had friends. There was especially one friend who had meant a lot to her. Who had actually meant everything to her. She took a deep breath.

"Okay," she Breathed. Brittany looked up. "Okay ... Well. Yes, I used to do the 'whole-friends-thing'. But it was not a success. "

"Why not?" Santana looked at Brittany, who stared at her with her blue eyes. Santana swallowed and looked down at her hands. Sometimes just Brittany looking at her was intimidating, and Santana didn't know why. And it was really getting on her nerves.

"There was this girl. Amy. We became friends the summer before freshman year…"

…

_Summer, 3 and a half years ago_

_"Santana! Over here!"_

_I walked to the other girls. They were standing outside this small coffee shop, waiting for me. Just like every other sunday afternoon. We would sit there, have some cocoa (because none of us actually drank coffee) and just talk about boys, school and stuff. But now it was the end of our summer vacation and it had been a month since the last time I saw the other girls. I smiled while I walked to them._

_"Hi! How was Hawaii?" _

_"It was great!" I answered._

_My parents and I went to Hawaii every year. It was cool and stuff, but it could be a little boring just to be with my parents for so long. _

_"Come on, let's go inside."_

_..._

_"So, I heard Sam is throwing a party tonight. An end-of-the-summer-party. We should go!" Sugar almost yelled._

_"Who's Sam?" I didn't recall ever hearing about someone named Sam._

_"Oh, he's this guy I met a couple of weeks ago. He just moved here, he's going to be a freshman too!"_

_Sugar was really exited. I sighed._

_"Well, let's go to this party."_

_..._

_The music was really loud and really bad. There was a lot of people I haven't seen before and a few I recognized from the old school._

_"Hey Santana!" I tried to find out who was calling my name, and it was a blond, pretty good looking guy. I had no idea who he was though. But he had his arm around Sugar so I guessed it must have been Sam._

_"Hey." I walked over to them._

_"You want something to drink? A beer?"_

_I swallowed. "Uhm, we're underage..."_

_A girl walked out from behind Sam. _

_"Aww, she's not used to drinking, Sammy."_

_I looked at the girl. She had brown hair that reached her shoulders and small cat-like green eyes. She was pretty. She looked back at me._

_"Okay. I'll have a beer."_

_Sugar smiled back at me._

_..._

_My head was summing. Like really. It felt like it was filled with tiny bees. It wasn't weird or anything, just... Funny._

_"It's your turn."_

_"What? Oh..." _

_We were doing this 'truth or dare' game. I'd played it before, just not with alcohol involved._

_The girl with the brown hair looked at me and smirked. "Truth or dare?"_

_I was a little dizzy. "Truth."_

_"How many have you slept with?" She smirked._

_What? "Uhm, none." That was a weird question._

_"Really? Well.. You're still just a kid I guess."_

_Maybe I was not more than 14, but I didn't think of myself as a kid. I didn't even knew how old this girl was._

_"Pick one now, Santana." Sugar said._

_I tried to focus on the others. I really had a hard time remember everyones name._

_"Sam. Truth or dare."_

_"Daaaaaare..." Sam draggede the word out._

_"Kiss Sugar."_

_"What? It's not like I haven't done that before," Sam said, but grabbed Sugars head and kissed her. I looked away, somehow feeling kind of awkward even though I was the one who told me to do it._

_"Okay," he said after a minute, "Amy - truth or dare?"_

_Who was Amy?_

_"Dare," the brown haired girl answered. Oh. Of course, she was Amy._

_"Kiss Santana."_

_My heart probably stopped beating for a second. Me?_

_"Your wish is my command," Amy said and started walking towards me._

_I froze._

_"What? It's just a kiss! It's not like you haven't tried that before."_

_I looked at the ground, feeling the heat on my cheeks._

_"Oh... You haven't." I could hear Amy try not to laugh. "Well, it won't hurt."_

_And then she put her lips against mine. It was warm, but mostly just wet. It wasn't what I had expected a kiss to feel like. But it felt a little strange. I don't know if it was because my first kiss ended up being with a girl, or if it was because I was drunk. Suddenly Amy pulled away._

_"See? It wasn't that bad, was it?"_

_..._

_A couple of days later I got a text message from a number i didn't know. It just said 'hey bitch, still recovering from your hangover? meet me at the park at 8.' I responded with 'who is this?' but I never got any answer. I shouldn't go to the park... I had no idea who had send the message. It could be some creepy guy from the party or something. But I was curious and I wanted to know who it was. I could just go, see who it was and then leave, right?_

_I went to the park. I was there a little early . Actually 20 minutes early. I sat on a swing next to a big oak tree._

_"Swings? That's what I said. Still just a kid."_

_I turned around and saw Amy standing behind me, smoking._

_"Here." She handed me a cigarette._

_"Thanks, but I don't smoke."_

_She raised her eyebrows, still holding the cigarette._

_"Come one, loosen up, will you?"_

_I eyed her. Then the cigarette. "I've never smoked before."_

_"There's a lot of things you haven't done. Sounds boring to me._

_I didn't know if it was boring. But I didn't want to be boring. And i definitely didn't want a sophomore think I was. So a grabbed the cigarette. When she lit it it burned my throat and I started to cough. A lot. Amy just laughed._

_"You still have a lot to learn. Come on."_

_From that day in the park I started to hang out with Amy. A lot. We would spend most afternoons sitting somewhere with a group of other people, mostly sophomores and juniors. Sometimes, when Amy had been stealing something from her parents liquor cabinet, we would get drunk too. I rarely saw Sugar and the other girls now. Sometimes Sam would hang around with me and Amy though. That was a little weird, I thought he was dating Sugar, but I didn't really care. _

_A few weeks in to the school year I sat alone outside school, smoking a cigarette. I've had enough of my Spanish teacher, he didn't even know a single word in Spanish. So I decided to not attend his classes. A lot of other classes actually. _

_"Hey, Santana..." Sugar had walked over to me. "Can we talk?"_

_I hadn't talked with her in a while. "Sure. What's up?"_

_"Uhm... Do you know where Sam was yesterday? He texted me he was sick, but when I wanted to visit him his parents told me he was out. Was he with you? Or... Amy?" She sounded nervous._

_"Sweety, I'm not going to check up on your boyfriend and what he's doing."_

_"Yeah, no, but..." Sugar started._

_"But he was with us yesterday. Or he was probably more with Amy." _

_Sugars eyes went wide. "With her?"_

_"Yeah, he's a big boy, he probably just wanted to get laid. And since you don't put out, well..."_

_Sugar looked hurt. "You're just like her. I don't even know you anymore," she said while she started crying._

_And then she left. Her loss. I couldn't see what was wrong with being just like the most popular girl in school._

_..._

_"Santana, what the hell is this?"_

_I looked at the paper my dad was holding. _

_"Oh... It's a D- dad, I thought you knew the alphabet," I answered indifferently._

_"In Spanish. How is it even possible for you to get a D- in a language you a fluent in?"_

_"It was easy. The teacher is an idiot anyway." I stood up, grabbed my bag and left._

_"Santana, come back here!"_

_I closed the door behind me and went to Amy's house. I couldn't deal with my screaming dad right now._

_..._

_"Do you wanna go watch a movie or something tomorrow?" I asked Amy. We were in her room. I was lying on her bed while she was trying on some clothes._

_"Can't. Sam is coming over," she answered, looking at herself in the mirror._

_I got a weird feeling in my stomach. "You're always hanging out with Sam."_

_Amy finally looked back at me. "Oh, honey, are you jealous?"_

_"No..." I said. "It's just, I miss hanging out with you like we did this summer."_

_"We're hanging out now, aren't we?" Amy said, walking back to the mirror._

_"I guess..." I rolled of the bed and walked over to her._

_"Don't you think it's a little... Mean to Sugar? You know, she's kinda dating Sam and stuff."_

_Amy turned around. "They might be dating. I don't care. I always end up getting all his attention anyway." She smiled a devilish smile._

_"Yeah..." I breathed._

_..._

_I was in my geography class and I was really frustrated. After my dad found out my grades were getting really bad he had said I wasn't aloud to go anywhere besides school until my grades got better. So when my geography teacher gave me back my test and I noticed the red E on top of it I just lost it._

_"What the fuck? I did great on this test, you can't give me a fucking E!"_

_"Santana, alomost every single one of your answers was wrong. I had to give you an E."_

_"Fuck you." And then I hit him. On the side of his head. The entire class went silent._

_I was filled up with rage, not only because of the stupid test, but everything. Amy, my parents, everything. I don't know what happened after this. Not really. The only thing I know is that I continued to hit him until one of the boys grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me away. And then I was at the principals office. Then they threw me out. And then I was told I had to move and get some help with my rage problems._

_I texted Amy the night I found out. I was devastated._

'_hey. can you call me? i need to tell you something.'_

'_can't, with sam right now.'_

'_oh… okay… just wanted to say they kicked me out and i have to move like fucking 300 miles away from here.'_

'_sucks for you.'_

_I looked at my screen for the longest time. 'sucks for you.' Wow I guess she really didn't care for me at all. _

…

"There you have it. Friends sucks," Santana said.

Brittany just stared at her with a strange look.

"What?"

"You were in love with her, weren't you?"

…

**A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated sooner. I've had a lot of things on my mind lately, but hopefully I'm on the right track again. So here's chapter 3 :) I'm sorry for typos, my head is soooo sleepy. And I hope the whole flashback thing wasn't confusing?**

**And if you're also a tumblr-head - hemoisflawlessbian . tumblr . com**


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